IN GOOD FAITH?

Written by Tabitha for your consideration.

(Another successful adoption associated with Christian Adoption.)


I often ask myself, am I here at Christian Adoption in good faith? Do I truly believe in what we are trying to accomplish here?

When I read over Deborah’s requirements, did I really take them to heart or did I just see the astounding success rate as a good way to get a child quickly?

What did she ask? (1) She asked us to pray fervently about this decision. (2) She asked that we not list unless we felt truly led by God. (3) She asked that we not place God in a box and limit our paths to parenthood. (4) She asked that we place our faith in God (not Deborah) and to put that faith into action. (5) She asked us to reach out to each other in prayer and as brothers and sisters in Christ. (6) She asked us to study the web site in detail.

If we obeyed the last directive, then the others naturally fall into place. As I read the testimonies, I realized that God’s matches come in all flavors -- not only in different colors and ages, but flavored by different struggles and challenges. The greater the challenge, it seemed the sweeter the taste of victory. I had to really face the fact that adoption would not be a quick fix to my infertility, and that the path might just be every bit as challenging or maybe even more. I knew that adoption would not be easy - and that was before I knew about the real challenges behind the scenes. Once online, I started to read the archives, and learned not only about the struggles of Randy, Cathy, baby Rachael and birthmother Jennifer, but also about little Ben Jamin’s brush with Satanism. How sweet these victories and how I thank our merciful God for the resolution that came along only after many sleepless nights and tears.

But of course, I didn’t know any of this before coming online. But reading through the web site made me want to pray about the decision I was contemplating. I realized that coming online would be taking a rather “unique” path toward parenthood and I didn’t want to make the decision alone. More important even than the counsel of my husband was the counsel of God. I knew that God would guide us both, and so if it was God’s will that I list with CA, well then He would work on my husband’s heart Himself. I say without reservation in my heart that “enlisting” with Christian Adoption was the will of God. Too many miracles have been manifest in my life for me to question it. And so, in God’s time, He delivered Mark’s heart as well. I knew that He would because God always keeps His promises. However, I grew weary and worried as I waited, wondering if parenthood would still interest me if Mark waited until my 50th birthday to decide for adoption.

I know in my heart that God has a child for us, a particular child designed and woven in the womb of another to capture our hearts. In light of this, I don’t want birthmother contacts every week - I only want one birthmother contact, MY child’s birthmother. Having gone through one very stressful weekend with a birthmother who was not carrying my child, I have asked God to not send me anymore birthmothers other than mine - unless it serves His glory to teach she or I something through the contact.

So, do I believe that God has delivered me here to receive the one child predestined for me? Yes I do, otherwise I would place my name on a secular service and sit back while a child is chosen for me by an administrator who knows nothing about me. To me, joining Christian Adoption is not a means to an end - rather, it was a leap of faith displaying my willingness to follow God’s directive in my life. It was not only a practical decision, but also a symbolic gesture of placing my full and utter trust in the Lord my God. God will work to make me a parent - I have placed all of my eggs in His basket. I pass out CA business cards because I trust Him. I sew and refinish and stock my nursery because I trust in Him. I look to the skies because I trust Him. And when I grow discouraged, I pray and He asks me, “What have you done today to prove that you trust that I will provide what I promised?”

And so I pass out more CA business cards, email reminders to friends and family that we are still looking for a child, and I pray for patience.

What don’t I do? I don’t ask Deborah to find me a child. Believe me, if there is anyone in this world who understands our desire to be parents, it is Deborah. We are constantly on her mind. Deborah can’t find me a child - no one can. God can and does work in Deborah to serve His purposes. Deborah cannot use God, but it is my firm belief that her righteous prayers are heard.

What does God tell us about praying for each other? He says that the prayers of the righteous man availeth much. I sure try to be righteous, but I don’t do a very good job. I sin all of the time, and fall so short of the glory of God that I practically need a stepladder to reach God’s grace. But I do consider it a privilege to pray for people, especially those in the CA family. Sometimes it is hard, when multiple persons are being considered for a match, not to shout, “Dear Father, please, please, please, let it be me. I don’t care how long the others have to wait, just let this baby be mine.” And I would be lying if I said that I don’t have to adjust my attitude every once in a while.

So, what I’m trying to say is this - are we a family or are we wanting a cold-hearted adoption match service? Do we expect Deborah to be some kind of baby factory or do we want God’s match in His time? I would much rather wait for God’s match then for the one I would set up -- whoever, wherever, however as soon as possible. God will be ultimately glorified through His match, and I have faith that I will become happier than I can currently imagine. I know that God has great plans for us in parenthood, which will be revealed in His time. As I read Deborah’s writings in the updates, I wonder if we are all on the same page and I marvel at some of the questions she seems to be asked on a regular basis. Now, not one of us are perfect, and definitely not me, as my husband could relate endlessly (but is too kind to do so). We have a choice here - do we participate in and take advantage of this wonderful opportunity to trust in AND serve God or do we sit back and do nothing, praying for no one, not promoting ourselves or others, encouraging no one, nagging for a quick fix, and expecting adoption to be just as easy as a 2-month pregnancy without stretch marks or morning sickness?

If we truly believe that this is a God-based service, then we have to act like Christians.

So, are you here in good faith?

Tabitha

(Tabitha and her husband successfully adopted twins in the spring of 2001!)


For more information please read Jane and Brianna-2. We encourage you to prayerfully consider registering with our service, and/or writing to us.

                                                                                                                                                

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