ADOPTION PLACEMENT: SELFISH OR SELF-LESS?
You may have heard of unwanted pregnancies, but with God's guidance, there are no unwanted adoptions. An adoption placement that has been surrounded with prayer and with anticipation is an all-win situation from a multiple of perspectives.
Why do birth parents relinquish their children to the adoption process? The reasons and circumstances surrounding each scenario is as varied as the individuals themselves. However, in an adoption placement where birth parents, regardless of age, are motivated by what is in the best interest and welfare of the child--an all-win placement can be the result. From our perspective as an adoptive couple, we clearly see many long-term benefits, when a child is placed with loving motivation. The basic question birth parents should ask is; what is the best decision we can make for the future of our child? They may decide to raise that child themselves, they may choose to allow another family member to raise the child or they may determine that they it would be best to allow a Christian couple to adopt their child. At Christian Adoption, we typically work with birthmothers that find themselves pregnant and unmarried. We do not stand in judgment of these women, although we are strong proponents of abstinence until marriage. However, the phone rings and there is a birthmother calling us for help, often in tears, and filled with shame. Our Christian response is to offer her a listening ear, wise counsel, and lots of God's love. We do not condone her situation, but rather try to help her find a solution that is best for her and her baby. By the time she calls us, she is almost fully committed to adoption placement. In the 268 successful adoptions/births associated with our service (as of the date on our main page), the birthmothers have ranged in age from 13-42. With respect to our experiences, we offer these considerations.
Consider the scenario of an unmarried birthmother that suddenly discovers she is pregnant. The birthfather is informed of the situation and he wants nothing to do with the baby or the birthmother, and does not want to know what she decides to do about this unplanned pregnancy. With careful consideration, this birthmother decides and believes that what is best for the future of her child is to allow a Christian couple to adopt her baby.
At Christian Adoption, we believe that her decision to place her baby into a loving Christian two parent home exemplifies an act of love and is not selfish, but self-less. We also believe that this type of placement results in a series of all-win considerations.
The birth parents win because they can go on with their lives and can continue their productivity as working citizens, complete their education, and/or resume their responsibilities.
The birth grandparents win because they can be assured that their grandchild is going to receive the best care possible from a two-parent family, without financial hardship to them or the responsibility of becoming parents once again.
The child wins because he/she is brought up in a loving Christian home by two parents that have prayed to adopt a child. This child is deeply wanted and dearly cherished. (The Christian couples that we represent seek God's will and pray for His guidance.)
The adoptive couple wins because they are blessed with the joy and privilege of raising a child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Additionally, the adoptive mother's heart is filled to overflowing because her arms are no longer empty. Hence, as a marriage partner and as an integral part of the family unit, the adoptive mother is more focused on service and the desire to give rather than on the lack (of a child) in her life.
The family unit wins because this adoptive family has been built with prayer and trust in God. This can result in a very solid nuclear unit where God is given the glory and honor, and this family does not hesitate to tell others of God's loving kindness. Their lives become a witness of what seemed to be the impossible--becoming a family.
The church wins because this child is raised to love and to serve God first and foremost. Hence, becoming a faithful and contributing member of the church body.
Society wins because this child is raised in a loving and nurturing environment. Being taught basic Christian family values results in responsible and productive young people and adults. Often adoptive children are raised with a greater appreciation for family and with more compassion for others.
The government wins because he/she becomes a productive member of society, breaking the welfare roll cycle, which might have otherwise occurred.
Our economy wins because responsible, productive citizens contribute to the economy rather than take from it's already overworked resources.
Our culture in general wins because healthy cultures are a direct result of strong Christian family units, strong believers, and strong leaders.
Our country wins because it needs strong leaders and Christian believers to maintain our freedoms and to insure that our basic Christian values as a nation live from generation to generation.
It is our hope that by presenting a very typical scenario, that the reader's perspective is enlarged. Perhaps the reader will re-consider his or her own viewpoint regarding the adoption issue. One fifth of our nation is infertile and a large percentage of these couples are Christians seeking to adopt a child. These couples desire to become a family with God's blessing. It is their fervent prayer to be given the joy to cherish a child, to cradle a baby in their arms, to hear the two most wonderful words that they crave to hear--Mommy and Daddy. It is for these Christian couples that we at Christian Adoption are diligent to educate and to enlighten the understanding of the public about adoption.
In light of these all-win considerations--is adoption placement selfish or self-less?
We are certain that the reader knows where we stand.
For more information please read Prayer and Answer.
We encourage you to follow God's loving guidance.
adoption@christianadoption.com
A Christian ministry that assists
birth parents & Christian couples in their adoption process.
Over 10 years of family building experience!
1.800.277.7006 620.251.4405
Eddie & Deborah S. Hill P.O. Box 243 Coffeyville, KS 67337
www.christianadoption.com adoption@christianadoption.com
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