THE SHOWER
Written by Heather
I didn't even know she was pregnant until they announced the baby shower at church. I haven't seen Kathy or her mom for a couple of years, but her grandparents are at church every Sunday. Always quiet and painfully shy, I had difficulty-imagining Kathy pregnant. She's barely 15.
I had no desire to go to the shower. Something in me bristles at the thought of celebrating this baby's arrival. Does attending the shower condone her condition? I picture pregnant teenagers I have known, arrogantly proud of their condition. How could Kathy have become one of these? She's way too young to parent and although her family is hard-working and sincere; they're not a warm and caring bunch. There were no showers for Kathy's friend June, also a teenager, who placed her baby for adoption just last week. Nope, I'm not going.
But that still small voice in my spirit whispers, "Go." I ignore it, but I can't stop it. With just enough time to get there, I buy and wrap a gift and drive across town to the Pastors' home. What I find is not what I'd expected. Kathy sits huddled on the sofa next to the pastor's wife, making eye contact with no one. She is not basking in the attention; she is mortified. We all go through the motions of a party. No one says, "Congratulations." None are in order. There's no light hearted banter, no swapping of stories, no cute little tips on babies and delivery. The baby part of this get-together is barely acknowledged.
Kathy opens each gift methodically, without enthusiasm, dutifully acknowledging the giver. We move quickly to the refreshments--just a cake and some punch. As soon as socially acceptable, Kathy and her mother leave. They are the first to do so. Kathy comes into the kitchen and seeks me out before she leaves. She gives me a hug, and almost a smile, and says, "Thank you for coming," before she hangs her head again.
As she goes I ask, "Do you have a name picked out?" She smiles a real smile for a moment, tells me the name, then hurries to the door as fast as she can waddle.
The whole thing took less than an hour. It was a profoundly awkward experience. Yet I am very glad I went. Though the tone was more condolence than congratulations, each and every one of us needed to be there. Our presence told this family, "We love you, we care about you, and we accept you."
I learned a huge lesson about caring without judgment and about obeying God. And though Kathy is a very young girl with a tough road ahead of her, at least she knows she will not be walking it alone.
For more information please read Techie and Lingo. We encourage you to prayerfully consider registering with our service, and/or writing to us.
adoption@christianadoption.com
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