MOTHER'S DAY 2000
Written by Tabitha
Some names have been changed to protect privacy.
(Another successful adoption associated with Christian Adoption.)
May 2000
Mother's Day fell on May 14th this year. Cruel irony -- that date marked the 1-year anniversary of the loss of my first pregnancy. I wasn't going to church, I just couldn't. The choir director asked me to sing, but I was incapable of facing the congregation as the Mother's Day sermon was delivered. I remember what she said -- "What? You're not coming just because of a couple of miscarriages?" I walked out and cried myself to sleep that night.
I was fortunate in that my dear friends, Dave and Alice, were pastoring our church. Assemblies of God ministers by training, they had graciously taken the helm of the First Presbyterian Church when our Pastor left suddenly the previous June. Dave is just a mountain of a man -- a hunter and a generally rough looking character, who cries when he speaks of Jesus.
Alice suffered a stroke many years ago that stole much of the control and feeling of her left side. They are true servants of the Lord, and people whom I love beyond words. It was Dave's genuine love of Christ that brought my own husband to the Lord in April. What a blessing to find so masculine a man who loves the Lord so completely!
Throughout that week, they asked if I would attend, but I declined each time they asked. They held me and told me that they understood -- having nearly lost their own precious daughter shortly after birth many years before, I believed them.
The day before, May 13th, I kept mainly to myself, cleaning and doing yard work. I didn't want to think about the last year and what a nightmare it had been. I was confused because of what the doctors were saying, and frightened about getting pregnant again when I had clear signs from the Lord to adopt. My life truly seemed to have no earthly anchor, and it is hard for me to ask God for help at times. This was one of those times -- I had pulled away from Him and was trying to handle things myself.
I can't tell you why I ended up going to church that morning -- I just went. Mick and I sat in the back, and I sobbed quietly as the opening Call to Worship was given, honoring mothers. One of my Logos kids noticed my pain, and his eyes caught mine -- I turned away in shame. Adopted himself, I later found out that he had asked his mother why I was crying -- and she explained in the way that only those of us unable to bear children can.
But the sermon started, and I was shocked at what I heard. I wish that I had the text, but Dave delivers his sermons by memory. He started out with the story of Solomon and the 2 women. You know the record -- 2 women are fighting over a baby, both claiming that he is their own child. Solomon wisely offers to split the child in two, splitting it between the two women.
One women agreed and the other cried out in horror, begging Solomon to just give the baby to the other women. Solomon declares the latter woman to be the mother and sends them away. You will notice in reading the record that nothing is said about biology. SOLOMON WAS NOT LOOKING FOR THE BIOLOGICAL MOTHER -- HE WAS LOOKING FOR THE REAL MOTHER. He was looking for the woman who loved the child beyond herself -- he was looking for an honest to goodness real mom. Solomon knew that almost anyone can give birth, but not everyone is a mother.
The sermon changed at that point, and Dave started speaking of the last church he pastored. He spoke of one woman in particular -- the woman that the children rush to greet whenever she walks through the door, the woman full of hugs and love and kisses. Every church has one of these women -- someone who is a natural born mother. And yet this woman was not a mother. She had no biological children and she had no adopted children, and yet every child in the church loved and revered her. Dave was choking back tears as he told everyone that she WAS a mother, and he spoke of the need to recognize women who are mothers and yet can bear no children.
A few moved uncomfortably in their seats -- everyone knew who the sermon was about. I was not THAT woman, but I WAS that woman. Many in the church had supported me in my struggles, but now everyone was seeing me with new eyes. I was crying audibly at this point, unable to control myself anymore. There were few dry eyes in the congregation, and quite a few, I came to find out later, felt ashamed for judging me in my infertility.
As the service ended, I was literally passed from person to person. I was hugged so tightly, and I felt so cherished. When Dave and Alice saw me after the service, they were surprised to see me - they had intended the service for everyone else, and yet God had wanted me to hear it. For the first time in a year, I was not alone among my church family -- I really never had been, but my grief isolated me. On the first anniversary of my torment, God saved me from my sorrows. I had thought that He cared so little as to have me miscarry a year from Mother's day, but in reality it was in order to show me His mercy. I could have miscarried a day earlier or later, but I didn't. And for the first time, my own small universe recognized me as a Mother.
Isn't it just like God to do something like that?
Tabitha
Mick & Tabitha successfully adopted twins in March 2001, and humbly shared Mother's Day 2001 with their new boys and church family!
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