C'MON, GET WITH IT…
Written by Deborah
3/26/03
In many areas of China, baby girls are unwanted and abandoned, but baby boys are celebrated.
In some African countries, baby girls are celebrated for their ability to become "breeders", and boys are wanted/needed primarily for the purpose of hunting.
In areas of India, the birth of a baby girl means the beginning of preparing a dowry for her marriage ceremony, where boys are the recipients of such heritage.
In Christ-centered homes, boys are trained to become God's leaders and girls are taught the fine art of homemaking.
Sometimes, in adoptive couple's hearts, even Christian adoptive couple's hearts, there's gender preference.
***Ring, ring, ring…
"Christian Adoption, this is Deborah."
"Yes, my husband and I would like to adopt a child. We have 2 girls and would like to adopt a boy. Can you help us?"
"I can help you with the adoption process, but not a specific gender of a child. That's God's department."
"Well, we really really want to adopt a healthy baby boy, since we have 2 girls already."
"I can help you with the adoption process, but I cannot guarantee a specific gender of an unborn baby. I've learned not to rely on ultrasound reports regarding gender. If you are willing to accept and expect God's best for your family, then you'll "let go" of the gender issue."
"Well, can we have the birthmother do an amniocentesis to determine gender before we "match" with her?"
"No, I will not ask any bm to have an amneo done for gender determination. That procedure is invasive for the baby and unnecessary for the Christian that trusts in God, first and foremost."
"We're just really wanting a baby boy to complete our family and were hoping you could help us."
"I'd suggest that you and your husband spend some time in prayer regarding being "stuck" on gender."
"Thanks for the information."
***Click.
I've never understood it; I've never been able to get this "gender specificity" thing.
(I know, I know, you're saying; "Well, that's because you have a boy and a girl. BUT, I never wanted a boy and a girl! I wanted to adopt all girls! In fact, after we adopted Danielle, we decided we ONLY wanted to adopt another girl and NOT a boy!)
PLEASE consider these perspectives…
As an adoptive couple living in the United States, with 20% of the American population being infertile and a ratio of 40 adoptive couples for every healthy Caucasian baby born (40/1)…you as an adoptive couple want to CHOOSE a specific gender?
As a Christian adoptive couple living in the greatest country in the world, where we're allowed to speak and teach God's Word openly, you as a Christian adoptive couple are going to PRAY for a specific gender?
As a Christian adoptive couple that prays daily for your birthmom to be led by God to find you in the VAST world of adoption, you as a Christian adoptive couple are going to be disappointed if the baby is a particular gender?
As a Christian adoptive couple that prays for your arms to be filled with a child, that prays for God to hear and answer your prayer for a child or another child, that longs to hold a baby close to your cheek and prays to cherish a child in your heart; you as a Christian adoptive couple are going to question gender?
As a Christian adoptive couple that wants to raise a child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, that understands the need for great MEN OF GOD to lead God's people; that understands the need for GOD LOVING WOMEN to hold households together with the love of God, you as a Christian adoptive couple are going to expect a particular gender?
So, as a Christian adoptive couple, what you're saying to me about gender specificity is…
I want/we want:
1. For God to work within a bm's heart to find US in particular
2. For God to work within a bm's heart to choose us to adopt HER baby
3. For God to work within the entire adoption process, so we successfully adopt a child
4. For God to hear our prayers and answer them speedily
5. For God to orchestrate details that we cannot fathom, resulting in a "God-deal" placement
6. For God to bless our bm abundantly for choosing US and for GIVING us HER child
7. For God to heal her heart and fill the vacuum in her life after placement
8. For God to demonstrate His power, love, grace and mercy upon all involved
9. For God to allow us the PRIVILEGE of parenting a child
10. And, as footnote--I want/we want a particular gender
To which I respond, as I do to my kids when they dawdle their way out the door…
C'MON, GET WITH IT…
For more information please read Lord and Remember. We encourage you to prayerfully consider registering with our service, and/or writing to us.
adoption@christianadoption.com
A non-profit Christian and Internet
service ministry. We're helping others in the adoption
process.
1.800.277.7006 620.251.4405
Deborah S. Hill P.O. Box 243 Coffeyville, KS 67337
www.christianadoption.com adoption@christianadoption.com
