LYNDA-2
Names have been changed to protect privacy.
(Another successful adoption associated with Christian Adoption.)
Today, I celebrate my son’s first birthday. Today, I celebrate all that I once grieved. My son was the answer to prayer, yet he came after many unanswered prayers. I survived divorce and cancer before he came into my life.
The story begins with my first marriage. I married at the ignorantly young age of 21. I loved the man I married as much as I knew how and I believe that he also loved me. We had some grand dreams - finish college, start careers, have children (soon) and settle in a small town where we could do all and be all.
It started off well enough. We moved from a college town to a city where my husband could work and I could finish school. I graduated with a degree in accounting and received six job offers with large accounting firms with little effort. I chose the firm I saw as the best fit and began my professional climb. After a few years, I was offered a job in my hometown. My husband opened his own business there, we bought a house across the street from the elementary school and left contraception behind in our quest for the true American dream.
I was shocked when I didn’t immediately become pregnant, but not overly disappointed or concerned. As I look back now, I realize that on some level, I truly knew the marriage was in trouble. My husband was my best friend, but we had some fundamental differences in how our home should be. I wanted music, walks, reading - - the simple and quieter pleasures of life. He wanted baseball. He wanted to watch baseball and he wanted to play baseball. Anything else was simply a waste of his time. He later estimated that he watched an average of 400 games a year. He played two nights a week and every other weekend.
The constant blare of television eventually ruined our marriage. We spent our evenings and weekends separately and soon we stopped sharing our bed. Several fights and affairs later, we went our separate ways.
The divorce was excruciatingly painful as anyone who has been through one can understand. I struggled with being 28 and alone, with no husband and no children. Dream #1 was shattered. I was able to stay really busy with my career, but the hurt was severe.
Only two months after my husband and I hugged our final ‘good-bye’ in the driveway of our dream house, I suffered an even more devastating blow.
At a routine gynecological exam, only nine months after the last one, I heard the news that my pap smear was a ‘stage 5.’ The message didn’t really sink in until my doctor said that he would refer me to a ‘gynecological oncologist.’ Oncologist, oncologist. . . I knew that meant cancer.
Within 48 hours, I heard the sentence I will never forget: “Linda, you have microinvasive cancer.” I was only 28 years old. Now, I would never have my children. Maybe no one would want to marry me.
Two weeks later I spent 7 hours undergoing the surgery that would alter my life forever. At the time, it seemed like an ending of sorts. Now, I know it was the true beginning of my life. The life I have now come to love.
I remember holding onto hope. For me, this hope was still in the form of a man to love who loved me well. I could actually see this man in my daydreams - - he would be tall, handsome and professionally secure. He would love me in spite of my past, in spite of my mistakes, but most of all, in spite of the fact that I could never carry his children.
Almost exactly one year to the day of my surgery, this man entered my life. We shook hands and introduced ourselves and he claims to have fallen in love at that exact moment. It took a little longer for me. I had feelings to sort out and I had to determine if I could really trust him and trust marriage again.
I told him immediately of my deep desire for children as well as my inability to conceive and carry them. I told him that I never had second thoughts about adoption. I didn’t know much about it yet, but I knew that I would pursue this avenue. I wanted and needed children in my life. To him, that was all just fine. He said it was too late to not fall in love with me, so he would just work with me to see that my dreams were realized.
That he has done. We married in December, 1992. In September, 1997, we were incredibly blessed when our son’s birthmother chose us to raise her son. We met her only three weeks before he entered the world. He has created a familiy where there was once just a couple. He has given us common purpose beyond anything we previously knew.
When our precious Branson was only 16 months old, we were once again blessed when God directed us to our daughter’s birthmother. We met her just three weeks before Allison's birth. Allison is our angel sent to us by God.
Then, only 2 ½ months later, Charles became our son. He is, by genetics, Branson’s half-brother, but by love, he is our son, Branson and Allison’s full brother. He belonged with our family the moment we learned about him.
I am so blessed. God has heard my prayers and given me more than I had dreamed for in my marriage and family.
Lynda
For more information please read Able and Husbands. We encourage you to prayerfully consider registering with our service, and/or writing to us.
adoption@christianadoption.com
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