BIRTHMOTHERS ARE PEOPLE TOO
(This vignette is representative of many birthmothers that call us. These situations are not currently available--but then again maybe a birthmother like Jane or Kate just called us!)
We'll call them Jane and Kate. Their names represent two birthmothers that called us in tears and in confusion. They were both late in their pregnancies and were lonely and full of despair. Both cried freely while we talked and both said almost the same thing. "No one will want my baby. No one wants my baby. No one cares about my baby. No one wants to love my baby." These were desperate and painful statements.
Both girls were carrying babies that were Bi-racial. One baby would be ½ Hispanic, ½ African American. The other baby would be born ½ Caucasian, ½ African American. Both girls had made the decision to place their babies for adoption. Both had bravely made that tough first call and both had spoken with adoptive couples that had verbalized that they were not interested in the racial combination of the baby. That in itself is any adoptive couple's privilege. But the way in which they told the birthmothers cut them to the heart. "We're not interested in YOUR baby. Who would want that kind of baby? We don't want a baby that will look like that." (Whatever that means.) Few words could have been more hurtful or cutting.
Birthmothers are people too. Walking in love towards others applies to birthmothers too. They have fears, they have concerns, they wrestle with condemnation (sooner or later), and unkind words and comments hurt them. So, they made some mistakes, maybe they made a lot of mistakes--but who has the authority to judge others? Who knows what is in the heart of man? Only God. Rather than walk in love and handle the situation with diplomacy, they responded with emotion and prejudice.
If we as Christians cannot monitor what we say with our mouths, then how do we expect to win anyone for Christ? Didn't our Lord Jesus Christ walk in love? Didn't our Lord Jesus Christ speak words of healing and kindness? Didn't our Lord Jesus Christ offer forgiveness and compassion? Didn't our Lord Jesus Christ pray for others, even when they abused him?
We offered comfort and encouragement to Jane and Kate. We encouraged them to look to God for help and guidance. We encouraged them to read more profile letters and to look for the open doors that God would provide for them, if they would ask for clear direction. We encouraged them to call back at any time to talk or to have their questions answered. We prayed for them and told them we would continue to pray for them. We added them to our prayer list that we send out to all those associated with Christian Adoption for additional prayer support. We listened, we encouraged, we reassured, and we covered for the thoughtless sins of others--with God's love.
No matter what the situation or circumstance, birthmothers are people too.
AN INEFFECTIVE WITNESS
(Written by a believer)
"If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain." - James 2:26
A pastor invited a famous Bible teacher to his church for a conference. One night he took his guest to a restaurant for dinner. During the meal, a waitress accidentally brushed against the speaker and spilled a glass of water on him. The Bible teacher immediately exploded with a tirade of angry words. He was so harsh with her that she ran to the back room in tears. After a moment, the pastor looked the Bible teacher in the eye and said, "Doc, I dare you to witness to her when she comes back." He could not, of course, because his sharp tongue had rendered ineffective anything he might say about Christ. We need to be careful about what we say to those that come into our pathway. A racial slur, a dirty joke, a rude remark, a profanity, a "little white lie" and gossip are all things that ultimately render us ineffective as a witness for Jesus Christ. A good guideline to use in controlling what we say is to ask ourselves this question, "After I say what I am about to say, will I be able to immediately tell this person about the love of Jesus Christ and how He has changed me into a new person in His likeness?" If the answer is "no" then we shouldn't say it!
For more information please read Julie and Sarah. We encourage you to prayerfully consider registering with our service, and/or writing to us.
adoption@christianadoption.com
A non-profit Christian and Internet
service ministry, helping others in the adoption
process.
Deborah S. Hill 1-800-277-7006
P.O. Box 243 (316) 251-4405
Coffeyville, KS 67337 (316) 251-5019 fax
http://www.christianadoption.com adoption@christianadoption.com
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