LAUREN'S VICTORY
This letter was written by one of our Christian Adoption couples to another couple that E-mailed us about their adoption situation. The love of God living in Lauren's heart is apparent and healing. May her kind words bring comfort to your heart, as you deal with disappointments in life.
All names have been changed to protect the privacy of these Christians.
(About 2 months after this letter was written, Lauren and her husband successfully adopted a son! Another successful adoption associated with Christian Adoption.)
Dear Blair,
My name is Lauren and I have heard from Deborah at Christian Adoption, about what has just happened in your life. I would like to tell you that I am so sorry for what you are going through. I understand your pain, as my husband and I went through the same traumatic situation only 6 months ago. We were in contact with a birthmother for 4 months and had made a trip half way across the country when she was in her 6th month of her pregnancy in order to meet her before the birth. We were in the delivery room when her baby girl was born and were in love at first sight with this baby. We named her after my grandmother and cared for her for several weeks while waiting for the legal paperwork to be filed so we could take her home. When she was about two weeks old the birthmother was given paperwork from the birthfather--suing for paternity rights. Well the nightmare started there, and without writing you a book, the baby was taken from us. The pain the we felt was so deep, it was inexplicable. We had many sleepless nights full of despair and hopelessness. I felt that I had nothing left to live for and that I would never feel joy or happiness in my heart again. I was angry with God, confused, and became very depressed. I cried all the time and was often up in the middle of the night clinging to my husband, shaking and crying, not knowing if I could make it through. I am sure that you are going through similar if not the same feelings. I want you to know though that I have gotten through this and I am moving on, hoping to adopt another baby. First off, I will tell you that I will never forget this child and I will never stop praying for her. I will always love this child as I feel in my heart that she is my first child and always will be.
Several months after the adoption fell through I was surfing the Internet and I found the Christian Adoption web site. I spent a lot of time reading everything on this web site and I printed every couple's profile. I called Deborah, who runs the web site and explained our situation. My husband and I prayed about going online and put together a new profile as quickly as we could--within a short time we were online. We had no idea that not only would we have great advertising exposure but the far greater blessing from this web site is the prayer support and love from others. Since we have been online with Christian Adoption, my husband and I have had a peace about 'our' baby that can only come from God through the loving prayers of others. I never thought that I could move on and get past the pain of losing this baby girl. Now we look forward to a new addition in the future.
I have turned to God to take the pain of the loss and to give me peace, and He has delivered me. I encourage you to continue to pray for this baby and also to give your pain and suffering to God. He will take it. Ask for peace and He will give it. Cry a lot, it is healthy and a good release, but also know that God has plans for you and your husband. There will be another baby and you will love this baby equally. This is not a replacement but another precious blessing. When I was going through my loss, Deborah at Christian Adoption said something to me that I will never forget; "That one of the most difficult things is that this baby may never know how much you loved/love her--but God does." Try to remember that God knows how much you loved/love this baby girl that you have lost!
I want you to know one other thing, that as I look back on my experience that if someone said that I could go back and erase everything that happened, that I would not! This experience for me was the worst experience of my life, but it was also the best experience of my life. I would not ever give up those two weeks with that baby girl. I would not give up being in the delivery room, and naming her, and changing her diapers, and bathing her, and feeding her. She was ours for two weeks and those were the best two weeks of my life. We know for sure that we want this again, and this time we want it permanently. I hope that you will consider this as well.
I will be praying for you and for this baby. I want to encourage you to mourn and in your time, move on. And I encourage you to turn to God. Give Him your pain and He will give you His peace.
Much love and concern,
Lauren
(About 2 months after this letter was written, Lauren and her husband successfully adopted a son!)
For more information please read It and Profile. We encourage you to prayerfully consider registering with our service, and/or writing to us.
adoption@christianadoption.com
A non-profit Christian and Internet service ministry.
We're helping others in the adoption process.
1.800.277.7006 620.251.4405
Eddie & Deborah S. Hill P.O. Box 243 Coffeyville, KS 67337
www.christianadoption.com adoption@christianadoption.com
