"BEEN THERE & DONE THAT"
Our names are Eddie and Deborah, and we began our own personal adoption pursuit in late l995. We soon discovered that the field of adoption is a maze with lots of twists and turns, some more obscure than others. We knew nothing about adoption and the process, so I began to read books and materials relating to the subject. We tried to get as informed as possible. We began to apply to agencies, almost 50 national and international agencies, but were refused/or we rejected them due to one of four reasons: we were both over the age of 40, we attended a non-denominational church, we would not/could not pay the average fee of $15,000.00-$25,000.00, and we decided that we did not want to be added onto a 2-3 year wait list with any agency. The most expensive adoption arrangement we encountered was $30,000.00 (Russia).
We became frustrated and annoyed with the systems of adoption. Here we were, a Christian couple that loved God and longed for a child that we could love and bring up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord, and we kept arriving at a dead end. Since, I am a diligent person, almost to a fault; I started our own adoption campaign. Over 200 adoption files were mailed and distributed, flyers were posted, we ran ads in the papers, personal visits were made to lawyers and doctors, we contacted everyone we knew throughout the country and abroad. Mostly we prayed, waited, cried a lot, and prayed again. We learned about facilitators and contracted one in California, after checking out her references. She gladly took our $4,800.00 in exchange for a 2-year contract to provide us with a child. We wanted a baby--Caucasian, Hispanic or American Indian or a combination of the above. Our facilitator matched us with a birthmother within a week - we were elated!
Our Tri-racial baby was due the end of October 1996! The baby would be African American, Caucasian and Hispanic. We flew out to California and met our birthmother, Debbi, and liked her instantly. She knew how to play our emotions and every angle - she was and is an adoptive couple scam artist and a professional. Our facilitator, unknowingly, (she claimed) set us up with a scam artist. Debbi began receiving rent payments from us, clothing, and phone calls twice a week. She knew exactly what to say to us, to keep our emotions on edge and hooked in. She knew how to prey on our heartstrings. When we talked with the facilitator, Michele, and told her something is not right about the arrangement, she 'pooh-poohed' our comments.
The Reader's Digest version is that we got scammed out of about $5,000.00 and there was no baby - Debbi was not even pregnant, just fat. Boy, did we feel stupid, hurt, and disappointed. Debbi had posted our picture on her refrigerator, talked to us about scam birthmothers and how evil they were, told us how much the baby was growing and kicking, showed us her 'pregnant' stomach, produced proof of pregnancy papers (that were falsified), and led us down the emotional path of excitement and anticipation. Once the deal went sour, she disconnected her phone and dropped us. We then turned to Michele and demanded she fulfill her contract with us. She then set us up with a birthmother and a baby, already born in LA, ready to come pick up. Only one catch - an additional $10,000.00 must be paid to the birthmother! This was obviously extortion, emotional blackmail, and baby selling. We walked away from it and another couple was found within 2 hours that paid - and was extorted for an additional $4,000.00 one week later.
We were set up to go pick up a baby in Arkansas, that was African American/Caucasian with potential health problems, and at the 11th hour, the birthmother (a cocaine addict) decided she wanted an African American couple to adopt the baby. We were set to adopt an African American baby girl in Oklahoma City and the lawyer who runs a baby mill, demanded $7,000.00 in contact fees or the baby goes into the system of foster care. This too, we saw as unethical, baby selling and emotional blackmail.
We were set up with a birthmother that was another scam artist, working under cover in her parent's home, and only 15 years old. (Debbi was 21 and had been working 3-4 couples per year for the past 4 years.) We were set up with a 14-year-old girl with an African American baby who came from a well-educated and wealthy background. Additional monies were expected to be paid, outside of legal and ethical birth related expenses. We had 5 babies lined up at one time, were certain to get two of them, and we prepared for twins. I induced lactation with a breast pump and pumped up to 6 times a day for a full month to prepare for nursing. We did not get any of these babies.
By the end of 1996, we were so discouraged and heart broken that we decided to try to take the lemons of our experiences and turn them into lemonade to help others. Although we had read, asked a gillion questions, annoyed attorneys, facilitators, social workers, etc., with lists of questions, we were still coming up empty and scammed. Our hearts not only begged for a child, but also deeply desired to help others avoid the pitfalls we had fallen victim to. Hence, we began our service on the Internet. A place for Christian couples to state their beliefs, their convictions, their ages, and dreams to adopt. A place for birthmothers to read about them, a nominal fee to be charged, and an avenue for us to help other couples.
Our motives are that simple and that honest. We want to pray and to help others in and through the maze of adoption. We will address or direct you and your adoption concerns honestly. We are not an agency, we are not licensed, we are not registered, and we are not professional counselors. We are a non-profit Christian and Internet service, helping others in the adoption process. Mostly we can be and want to be your help and prayer support system. We believe God has led us to this point and did lead us to begin our service. We pray for God to lead couples to our web site that are inspired to list with us. We pray for our web site and our couples -- fervently and diligently. We encourage and we educate. We are one of those couples that has "been there & done that"-- now we would like to help you.
God blessed us beyond measure for our minute degree of faithfulness. He took lemons and gave us champagne! We did successfully adopt a beautiful toddler on 4/7/97. It came about in a most unusual, odd, and unplanned or anticipated fashion. The entire situation was not our adoption prayer or mental picture we had held. However, our precious Danielle is and has been nothing but a complete delight and a blessing that only Ephesians 3:20 can describe. We are undeserving of such a lovely little girl, but we are more than thankful to God for His grace, mercy, and kindness. She is 1/2 Vietnamese, 1/4 Chinese, and 1/4 Thai, and she was born on 8/29/95 in Los Angeles. Our contact was the facilitator that we had contracted, the adoption is a semi-open one, and how we first held Danielle and our fight to keep her is another story all together. When we have completed her story, which is His story of blessing, our book entitled, FROM LEMONS TO CHAMPAGNE, will be available to purchase.
For more information please read Refuse and Woman. We encourage you to prayerfully consider registering with our service, and/or writing to us.
Go to web site index
Return to main page
Eddie & Deborah S. Hill P.O. Box 243 Coffeyville, KS 67337