Written by Katharyn.

Names have been changed to protect privacy.


Dear Deborah,

As you have studied our pictures and read our profile letter until you had a sense of who we were, I've spent many hours studying Deborah through the Christian Adoption website. I think you are a woman of strength and faith, who grieves quickly because you have many responsibilities. You trust in the sovereign hand of God to sustain and guide this ministry. You may come across to some as being a pillar of strength, but many fail to see the pain, grief and feelings of abandonment you've battled, because you are flesh and blood.

I have endured the trial of infertility. I have endured the trial of a terminal illness and death of my husband. I have endured the trials of widowhood and single parenting. I didn't expect adoption to be a trial, but my heart is being stretched in new ways. I used to look forward to the Christian Adoption Family updates, but now I open them with hesitation. I'm ashamed of my flesh when I read about another Christian Adoption couple being matched or getting their baby, and rather than rejoicing, my heart becomes sad that I don't have my baby. Oh, the flesh is our weakness! Forgive me God, and instill in my heart, an attitude of rejoicing for my brothers and sisters in Christ! 

Lord, replace my sadness with contentment as I seek Your will.

But my head and heart are in conflict. 

My head says, "Trust in the Lord," and my heart says, "I've done that before and it hurts." 

My head says, "God will work out HIS plan in HIS perfect timing," and my heart says, "But I want it now." 

My head says, "You cannot thwart the will of God," and finally, my heart is silent, but the doubt remains. 

I'm so thankful that God's will is not dependent upon me! 

Sarah laughed when God told her He would give her a child, and despite her doubt, He fulfilled His promise.

Oh, that He may find favor upon me and grant me the privilege to raise another child for His kingdom and glory!

I love the Christian Adoption ministry, and every person that God has called to be a part of it.

I pray the Holy Spirit continues to envelope every family with a peace that passes all understanding.


(Timothy & Katharyn thank God for their new son through Christian Adoption!)

For more information please read God's Direction.

We encourage you to follow God's loving guidance.

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A Christian ministry helping birth parents & Christian couples for over 14 years!  

1.800.277.7006     620.251.4405     adoption@christianadoption.com

Deborah S. Niles     P.O. Box 243     Coffeyville, KS     67337    

We are not an adoption agency, we are not registered, we are not licensed, and we are not professional counselors.

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