Written by Kasey.
Names have been changed to protect privacy.
It’s so interesting and inspiring to read the stories of other Christian Adoption couples!
It’s a reminder of how far we’ve come through this process.
I can’t tell you how many Mother’s Days I cried, hid in the church bathroom, and agonized while all of the mommies were getting their flowers. I dreaded being the only woman still seated when the Pastor asked the mothers to stand and be recognized.
I remember talking with a good friend who was going through infertility and thinking, “How awful; I’m sure we’ll never deal with that!” I remember arrogantly telling her my grand plan to be pregnant by a certain time so the baby would be born at a certain time…
I’ve humbly asked God and her for forgiveness. God’s plan is always better than ours.
I remember talking with Tim on an early date about my desire to adopt. It never crossed my mind that it would become my “reality”.
And I remember all the visits to the infertility specialist. All those horrible times when I’d sit in my car sobbing, because it was another failure, another month gone, another procedure without success.
I remember giving myself shots, taking pills, watching every date on the calendar, taking birth control pills to resolve problems from the last medication, pausing, stopping, re-starting, and remaining an emotional wreck through most of it.
Months of marital strain, months of disappointment, and feeling like every day I was closer to a nervous breakdown.
I remember a well meaning friend saying, “Maybe you're not meant to be a mother.”
I remember asking if endometriosis could be the problem, but being told “absolutely not." Then a year later, being told, “Hey, that could be your problem--let's do surgery the day after TOMORROW!”
I remember my Pastor coming to the hospital to pray over me before my surgery on July 31, 2002.
I remember having all the elders in our church pray for my healing and for us to have a child.
I remember the pain I experienced after the surgery. I was told we'd double our chances of conception if we continued with more shots. I was told that I'd never conceive on my own.
But I’d had enough.
I remember talking to Deborah and knowing that God was leading us to Christian Adoption.
My logical, realistic husband immediately agreed with his impulsive wife by saying, “This is the path we’re to take”.
I remember being told to trust God and not to wait.
I remember going online with Christian Adoption and being contacted 2 days after our profile was online!
I remember Tim giving his testimony at church about how God had given him confirmation we were on the right path. I remember Tim saying that he was going to follow Him no matter how long it took. Then we came home from church with a message on our answering machine from OUR birthmom--on the same day.
I remember how we had so much in common with our birthmother, Jasmine.
Jasmine and Tim are both twins. We all have the same ethnic backgrounds. We all have the same interest in music. We all picked the same baby names! Unbelievable!
I remember Christmas '02. We were so incredibly happy to know we were "matched", but also hurting at the same time.
Tim’s twin brother had a newborn son and named him our chosen name for a baby boy; Zachary, which means God remembered.
Zachary looks just like his dad, Terry, so he also looks just like my husband Tim. (Tim & Terry are identical twins.) Zachary was born on Tim’s deceased father’s birthday. And Zachary became the “golden child” of the family. It was pounded into my head at every family function how very special Zachary was, how much he looked like his daddy...
It was incredibly painful. I felt deeply saddened that I couldn’t give Tim a biological son. Even though we were overjoyed with our birthmother Jasmine, I still felt deep sadness.
Why couldn't I overcome this sadness?
Why was I so moody and felt sick all the time?
I was certain I was entering early menopause.
All the infertility specialists told me my eggs were basically “expired." I was told I was peri-menopausal.
Then I remember taking a pregnancy test on New Year’s Eve ’02 just to silence my nagging sister, since I couldn’t possibly be pregnant.
I remember screaming at the top of my lungs when it showed “pregnant”!!
Tim and I just sat on the bed staring at each other, not knowing what to say since the test had to be wrong. We took 2 more tests and I had an ultrasound, before I actually believed it was true.
I was sure Jasmine would change her mind about placing with us. Although we were still 100% committed to her baby, we felt selfish having a baby and adopting one.
Our pregnancy was a miracle.
Well meaning family told us to keep our pregnancy a secret from Jasmine until we knew our pregnancy would succeed.
No, that wasn’t right. That wasn’t what God would want from us. He expected obedience, honesty and faith.
We told Jasmine immediately and said we’d understand if she wanted to look for another family. We knew one of the reasons she chose us was because we were childless.
She told us she wanted us to be her baby’s parents. Unbelievable!
I remember praying that both babies would be healthy. MANY prayed for our babies to be healthy.
Wouldn’t it be great if our adopted 1st child was a baby girl?
Wouldn’t it be great if the child I was carrying was a boy, that would look just like his Dad?
When God says His plans are far better than we can ever imagine--He is right! WOW!
We adopted our perfectly healthy baby girl, Susanna!
I delivered our perfectly healthy baby boy, Nathan!
Nathan looks just like his father. He was born exactly one year later, on the same day and almost at the moment when many believing men of God prayed for us.
God has given us His best!
He will do the same for anyone that trusts Him with their whole heart.
As I watch as our kids play and laugh together, I pray for other Christian Adoption couples, that are still waiting for their deliverance.
God is so good!
(Tim & Kasey are raising their 2 children (1-adopted & 1-miracle pregnancy) with the support of Christian Adoption!)
For more information please read Healing.
We encourage you to follow God's loving guidance.
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