DIFFERENT & UNIQUE
Written by Deborah.
6/19/02
I have a Roman-style nose. Many people ask me if I'm Jewish or Italian. The nose originates from who knows where (French, English or Osage Indian), it doesn't matter anyway.
My Vietnamese/Chinese/Thai daughter is 6 1/2. We often call Danielle, our precious Asian princess, not to emphasize that she's Asian, but because we think her Asian looks are uniquely beautiful. She's noticing more and more that she looks different from most of the other kids she meets. This awareness leads us to have various discussions about different eye shapes, skin tones and colors, as well as the many countries and cultures throughout the world. A recent conversation went like this.
"Mom, how come I have Asian eyes?"
"Because your birth parents and birth grandparents are Asian."
"Where is Asian?"
"Here, look at this globe. All these countries in the world are a part of Asia. It's an area of the world, where most of the people have Asian eyes and Asian hair."
"Is Samuel Asian?"
"No, he is Hispanic and Native American Indian."
"Where is Hispanic?"
"The country that Samuel's birthmother came from was Mexico, so Samuel is part Mexican Hispanic. But his birthfather came from Native American heritage in New Mexico."
"Why does my nose look different? It goes in here, rather than go up or out."
"That's because you have an Asian nose and Asians don't have a large bridge on their nose."
"But why do I look so different?"
"Danielle, look at my nose. This nose is called a Roman nose and it looks different than many other people's noses. Does Daddy have a Roman nose?"
"No."
"Does Samuel have a Roman nose? Does my sister, Aunt Stephy, have a Roman nose?"
"No."
"Okay, so I have a Roman nose which is different from anyone else in our family. You have an Asian nose that is different from everyone else in our family. Do you think that I'm a strange person because I have a Roman nose?"
"No."
"Do you think that people look at me and think, 'Boy, she sure looks funny with that Roman nose.'"
"No, I think people look at you and think you're pretty."
[Of course every child thinks their Mommy is pretty, and we love them for saying so.]
"Well, I think when people look at you, my Asian princess, that they think you are pretty with your Asian nose, Asian eyes, and Asian hair. That's what makes you so unique. Do you understand?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Honey, your face, your nose, your hair, your eyes are just a part of who you are. They look different from other people, but those features make you unique. Being different is also being unique. What is in your heart is what makes you most beautiful. What you do for others, how you obey us as your parents, praying for others, being thankful and kind--all these parts of your heart are what makes you different and unique. Next time you see someone with a Roman nose or with Asian eyes, you'll see that they are different and unique. It's special to be different and unique, especially when you love and serve God. That's being REALLY different and unique. Do you understand?"
"Yes. Hey Mom, I like your new hair cut."
"Thanks sweetie."
"It kind of looks like a 'pot scrubby' in the back. That's different and unique about you too."
"Gee, thanks honey."
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