MARLA

Written by Marla.

Names have been changed to protect privacy.

Dear Marla,

My name is Sally and I've been in contact with Deborah at Christian Adoption. My husband and I sent her an email with several prayer requests and she thought you could help me. We're praying about listing our profile with Christian Adoption. One of my questions concerning adoption is about my weight. I've struggled with it all of my life, but now I want to gain victory over it. Deborah mentioned that you'd lost a large amount of weight and thought you could share some insight and/or encouragement about this issue. I'm worried about my overweight condition while we pursue adoption. Were you overweight when you went through the Christian Adoption process? If so, did you struggle with self-doubt because you were nervous about what birthmothers would think about you? I pray that God reveals the inner me to others as He sees me. I really dislike having someone tell me whether or not my life expectancy is long enough to raise children. God has already entrusted me with 2 children and we believe He's guiding us to add to our family through Christian Adoption. That's probably the "why me, why now" answer to getting my weight under control. I draw my strength from the Lord as I give myself to Him on a daily basis. I'm praying that you recognize some of what I'm going through and can share how you've dealt with it.

Thank you,

Sally

Dear Sally,

God works in so many different ways in the lives of His people.

We adopted directly through Christian Adoption. We had a solid, intense email relationship with our birthmom prior to placement. Reading your email brought back memories of our 1st face to face meeting with our birthmom Susan. I'd forgotten how terrified I felt to meet her. We met at a neutral location and I remember going to the restroom as soon as we got there. It seemed like all my strength had left me and I was shaking like a leaf. I could hardly stand up and it was only by God's grace that I even got out the bathroom door. I had to lean on my husband to get me to a seat. Looking back, I know that 95% of that fear and anxiety was about Susan's reaction to my size. I'd been fine with the emotional, intense, long distance email relationship, but now she was going to see all of me. We had some great head and shoulder shots in our profile on Christian Adoption. Those pictures showed me at my best weight as an adult. I don't think I looked as heavy in those pictures as I really was; I weighed at least 285 lbs. (I never got below that for 9 years as an adult.) But by the time we met our birthmother Susan and I'd been eating my stress, and I weighed closer to 320 lbs. I was very physically uncomfortable, even though I'm 5'9" and carry all my weight evenly with most of it in my stomach. I'm an apple, not a pear shape.

Let me not forget to say this though, if God is leading you to Christian Adoption then obey His guidance. He knows your birth family already. I've seen couples of all shapes, sizes and attractiveness adopt through Christian Adoption. In my gut, I always felt that a very attractive couple had more advantages, but that's only in the natural world. Adopting with a ministry like Christian Adoption is a supernatural experience. God will prepare you for your birth families' needs and them for yours.

In my natural mind, I think that Susan may have been surprised by my size. She and her mom asked questions about my health, which I answered truthfully. They'd had life experiences with weight challenges and that prepared them to accept me. Susan's dad wasn't small, her brother was large, and her grandmother also had a significant weight problem. So although she was concerned about my weight, she'd already fallen in love with my heart, my personality and she knew that size had nothing to do with loving a child. Once her family was satisfied that I was taking care of myself, they never brought up the subject again.

My best advice about receiving God's help is to address your weakest and hardest area in life. Listen, pray, and pray specifically about how to obtain your victory. Consider your many options. I'm sure you've attempted to do this many times and have failed. That seems to be the pattern for most of us. That was my pattern for 15 years and I'd given up. Nothing worked for more than 30 lbs. and 150 lbs. seemed absolutely impossible.

My weight problem was more than a size or comfort problem. I was unhealthy and getting worse as I reached my mid-30's. My body was starting to break down. I have Type II Diabetes that forced me to take up to 3 types of medications regularly.  Scott and I prayed for healing for 6 years and I've been praying my entire adult life. I also have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, which I believe came first and set up the chemical and hormonal imbalance that made the Diabetes progressive. My attempts to lose weight became futile. Overweight women often develop diabetes and then infertility follows.

Through our prayers and my attempts to lose weight, I decided to consider weight loss surgery. Pray about your options. It's a very personal choice and you need God's leading and direction. I feel that God worked through the surgery to bring great healing into my life. It was drastic, but so was my situation. I had a gastric bypass after a lot of prayer and research. There are many different types of weight loss surgeries. My surgery was over a year ago and I've lost 110 lbs. My health has greatly improved. My diabetes didn't correct itself like others, but for the first time I'm getting normal readings with only 1 low dosage medication. I've been sleeping better since I'm finally responding to the pain medication for my nightly foot pain. My energy has increased, my mobility is greatly improved, and my self-esteem has been deeply affected. Through Christian Adoption God has answered so many prayers for me, for my family, for our future.

With God all things are possible...in His timing.

God bless you,

Marla

(Scott & Marla were blessed by their birthmother Susan and a Christian Adoption baby boy!)

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