LIZA: MY BABY IS LOVED
(A BIRTHMOTHER'S PERSPECTIVE)
This loving perspective was written by birthmother Liza. May her example of planning for the future of her unborn child be a perspective that all women consider if there is an unplanned pregnancy in their lives. This record was written in stages; so past, present, and future narratives are combined to tell this birthmother's story. All names have been changed to protect the privacy of these Christians.
(Another successful adoption associated with Christian Adoption)
Where should I begin?
My name is Liza. I am 26 years old and I have 3 wonderful daughters: Holley, Heidi, and Heather. I'm divorced from their dad. I had been seeing this guy for just over a year and we had talked about marriage and having kids of our own. But the day I told him I was pregnant he more or less freaked out and all he could say was have an abortion. From that moment on I knew in my heart that this baby would be placed for adoption. Then I had to talk to my ex-husband about what we should say to our 3 girls and he wanted to be 100% honest with them throughout the whole pregnancy and placement. So we told the girls I was pregnant and that this baby was given to Mommy to carry for someone whose belly is broken and can't have babies like Mommy.
My oldest is 8 years old and she understood pretty well. Then my 5-year-old had a lot of questions like why I didn't give her away. My answer was because God gave her to me to keep, like He did with her 2 sisters. She was happy with that. My 3-year-old, she's a bit young to understand but I'm sure there will be more questions from her in the future.
I wasn't sure where to start looking to learn about adoption, but one time I came to my ex-husband's place to see my kids and I started searching the Internet. That's when I found the Christian Adoption web site. I started looking around on there and I found the profile pages. I was looking at every couple on the page. I had E-mailed a few of them but there was one couple that I kept going back to. I ended up calling them one night and we talked for a couple of hours. I really liked them too. I ended up talking with this one couple throughout most of the pregnancy. Then one night I received an E-mail from them saying that we needed to talk, so that night when I got home I called them. I was shocked with what I heard--they had adopted another baby. They had wanted to tell me for a while but didn't know how. At first I was upset and then I decided to pray. Deborah, the administrator of Christian Adoption, called me and put my mind at ease. She told me about some of the new couples on the web site and she got me up and going again. I started looking at more couples soon after that. My Mom had come to me and told me we could just keep the baby, but I told my Mom there's no way we could do that. I'm not with the guy that got me pregnant and there's no way I could bring a baby into this house and put that burden on my parents. She agreed and I wasn't sure yet if I would look at that web site again, so I made some calls to some other people like my aunt. Her friend knew someone that was looking to adopt too and then my ex-husband called with the name of a man that works with an adoption agency nearby me. I called him too. I wasn't sure what to do, so I did a lot of investigating and a lot of praying. (I found out later that everyone on the Christian Adoption web site was praying for me too!) About 3 days later I went back to see my kids at my ex's house and I decided to look at the web site again. I found a few couples there I liked and I E-mailed 4 of them telling them about my situation. I let all them know they could ask me anything and everyone E-mailed me back with a bunch of questions. I answered them all and at that point I had a few questions for them. After getting their answers back I was able to narrow the couples down but the couple my aunt had found had sent me their profile too. So I had 3 couples I really liked after a couple of more E-mails I narrowed it down to two couples--the one my aunt found and one from the Christian Adoption web site. I had met the couple my aunt found and they were nice. I asked the other couple if there was any possible way that we could meet face to face and they agreed. But before we met we talked all the time on the phone. It was really weird how well we got along on the phone! When we first talked it was like we had always known each other and we were old friends just catching up on old times. Then a couple of days before their trip to see me, I was looking through the web site again and I read the story of Julie. At that point I knew in my heart who I wanted to adopt this baby, so I sent them an E-card saying I had some news for them. Later that night Tina called me and I told her that I wanted them to adopt the baby. We both almost cried, but I said something funny to change the mood. We went on talking for another hour. Rick and Tina came here to meet me and we had a great time together. The only thing that didn't seem to work was the baby didn't want to move when they were here. That was really irritating! I even tried to wake the baby up but nothing seemed to work. Well anyway--things went great.
The visit came to an end, Rick and Tina had to go home. The weekend we met my family was away so when they all got home they asked me all about them. I told them a lot about Rick and Tina and I think they all got sick of me talking about them! After meeting Rick and Tina, I knew for certain that I wanted them to adopt the baby. A couple of days later I had a doctor's appointment. My doc scheduled me for an ultrasound to make sure the baby was fine (2 of my daughters have a small heart problem), I wanted to make sure this baby's heart was okay. The week I went to see how the baby's heart was (everything was great), the doctor asked me if I wanted to know the sex. Since Rick and Tina wanted to know I said, "yes" and was told that the baby was a boy! Of course the couple knew I was getting this done and as soon as they got home they called like we had planned. I told them it was a boy and they were excited--I was excited for them too. I started telling my friends and a lot of them asked me how are you going to feel placing your first boy? I told them that I could give this boy all the love in the world, but love isn't all that is needed to raise a child. It takes a lot more than just love. So for the welfare of the baby, it would be better going to another family that can care for him better than I. This baby is very lucky, he has two big families. He will have his birthmom's family that will always love him and he will have his adoptive family that will love and take care of him.
That brings me to the point where we are now. I 'm still pregnant and still very close with Rick and Tina. Pretty soon I will be talking to them on the phone. I look forward to talking to them, it always cheers me up even if I don't need cheering up. We have such a great time talking! They are the answer to my prayers.
Thankfully the time has gone by so fast. Being pregnant is uncomfortable but a joy at the same time. Life goes on and now I have to see the doc every week and my doc says she will induce me so that the adoptive parents can plan on being here to see the birth. When I get home I call them to let them know the estimated date and they are excited about being able to be here for his arrival.
We talk every week on the phone on Tuesdays after my appt, so I can give them updates on the pregnancy and how everything is. It is December and it is a very busy month for me. I did a lot in my last month of the pregnancy. My birthday is on the 7th, then my oldest daughter's birthday is on the 12th, and the doc says on the 14th we will induce! So having a party for my daughter was cutting it close to the end of the pregnancy, but with my kid's grandparents on both sides of the family we were able to have a great birthday party weekend. I did have one false alarm on Saturday. I thought my water broke but it didn't and I was happy about that because Rick and Tina are leaving to come on Monday. I really wanted to wait for them. They arrived here safely and on Tuesday we all went to my doctor's appt. Rick, Tina, my Mom, and me. This was the first time my Mom met Rick and Tina. The doc says I can be induced in the morning at 8 a.m. She said to go home and have a huge dinner, because I won't want to eat before or during labor. I could get really sick, which I knew because I got sick with 2 of girl's labors and I didn't want to do that again.
I went home and ate just about anything that sounded good, I pigged out big time! I had trouble going to sleep that night, but I finally did. Around 4 a.m. I woke up to go the bathroom, which I did every morning, then went back to bed. For awhile my cat came in and again I couldn't fall asleep, so I talked to my cat about being away and loved on him for awhile. We both fell asleep and at about 6:50 a.m. my Mom woke me up. I got up to go to the hospital, I already had my bag ready so I didn't have much to do. We left a bit early for the hospital that was about 5 minutes away. We went to register and the receptionist started joking about hurrying up and getting me in so I wouldn't have the baby right there! But I let her know I wasn't in labor, I was going to be induced, so not to worry. Mom and I walked to the maternity floor, they knew who I was. Nurse Karen took me to my room and gave me the ugliest gown ever to put on. While I was changing, Karen and my Mom were talking about what I was doing with the baby and she was so supportive of what I had decided to do. I was all dressed and I climbed onto the bed and she started to put the IV in. A few minutes later Rick and Tina showed up. I could tell they were a bit nervous and excited. About 9 a.m. they put me on what they call PIT (pitocin) to start the labor. We were getting one step closer and at 10:15 a.m. I felt my first contraction. I started to get a bit nervous just knowing how labor can be, it was scary but all worth it in the long run. Just getting through it is tough at times but when you have people there to help you it's a lot easier. Having Tina there for me was great, just holding her hand helped me so much. Also, it was really neat, because the 2 nurses that were there in the morning were supposed to go home around 3 p.m. but they both asked to stay and help out. One nurse was in training so this would have been her first time seeing a birth. When they asked to stay I said, "Sure, the more the merrier!" Around 4 p.m. the hard labor started, I was hurting a bit so I barely looked at the clock. This whole time Tina stayed by my side and Rick was outside. Then he decided to come into the room--he knew this was a once in a life time thing to see. So he came in and then finally I was able to push. At 5:34 p.m., he was born. When I knew he was coming out, I let go of Tina's hand so she could see him and go to his side. When he was born, the moment I saw Rick and Tina's face I knew that I did the right thing for this wonderful baby. I could see how happy they were. I knew how I felt when my girls were born. I knew how they were feeling after seeing their emotion. I could never take that away, this has been their prayer for so very long and I knew God sent me this baby to carry for them to have as their very own. Afterward, they were so great, they let me see the baby and hold him. I was able to see them walk to their car with the baby to go back to their motel. That was special for me to see, because I could see their faces glowing with happiness. The next day when I left the hospital my Mom and I stopped at their motel to take some pictures of all of us together. I will always treasure these pictures as long as I live. Not only was I able to start a family for someone, but I also have 2 wonderful friends for a lifetime. I will always hold Rick and Tina close to my heart. Now the 4 of us have a great bond together that can never be broken. Thanks to God that bond is real and true. My baby is loved and well cared for, my 3 girls are happy and healthy, I have a wonderful future ahead of me, and God is very good.
Liza
For more information please read Read and Julie. We encourage you to prayerfully consider registering with our service, and/or writing to us.
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