GOD WORKS

Dear Maura,

My name is Sally. I have been in contact with Deborah Hill a couple of times as my husband and I are considering listing with CA. We are in a holding pattern as we pray. I had sent an E-mail to Deborah with a couple of prayer requests and she suggested I get in touch with you. One request was in regard to my weight. I have struggled with it all of my life, but now is my time to get victory over it. Deborah mentioned that you had lost a "large amount" of weight. She thought you might consider sharing some insight and/or encouragement with me on this issue as well as with the adoption experience. Were you overweight when you went through the process? If so, did you struggle with self-doubt because you were nervous of what a birthmother might see? I pray that God would reveal me to others as He sees me. I really dislike the idea of having someone tell me whether or not my life expectancy is long enough to raise children. God has already entrusted me with two children and we genuinely believe He is asking us to add to our family. That is probably the "why me, why now" answer to getting my weight in order. I realize that I sound rather weak, but I draw my strength from the Lord as I give myself and all that I am to Him on a daily basis. I'm praying that maybe you recognize some of what I'm going through and can share how you have dealt with it. I pray that God will give you a special moment today.

Thank you,

Sally

Dear Sally,

God works in so many different ways in the lives of His people.

We adopted through a "match" made directly through CA. We had a solid, intense E-mail relationship with the birthmom prior to placement. Reading your E-mail last night brought back memories of that first face to face meeting that I had forgotten. I forgot how terrified I was. We met them at a neutral location. I remember going to the restroom as soon as we got there and having all of my strength leave me. I was shaking like a leaf and the strength in my legs was all but gone. It was only God's grace that got me out the door and to a seat. (Plus a little leaning on my hubby!) Looking back, I know that about 95% of that fear and anxiety was about their reaction to my size. I had been fine with the emotional, intense E-mail situation. We had been blessed enough to get great head and shoulder shots to use on the web site. They really showed me the best I ever looked as an adult. That was a God thing too. I don't think I looked as heavy in those pics, as I was. But even if I was at one of my thinner moments for those pics, I know I was at least 285 lbs., because I never got below that for 9 years as an adult. By the time we got to meet face to face with all the stress, I was much closer to 320 (my upper end weight) and physically uncomfortable. Just for the visual, I am 5'9" and carry all my weight fairly evenly with most of it in my stomach. I'm an apple, not a pear shape.

I will start by saying all of that--only to stop and say this: If God is leading you to adoption and is leading you to CA then He knows your birth family and knows you will be a perfect "match". I've seen couples of all shapes, sizes and attractiveness adopt through CA. In my gut, I always felt that a very attractive couple had more advantages, but that is only in the natural world. Adopting with a ministry like CA is a supernatural experience. God will prepare you for your birth families' needs and them for yours.

In my natural mind, I think that Susan (our birthmom) may have been surprised by my size. She and her mom asked questions about my health, which I answered truthfully. They had life experiences with weight challenges that prepared them. Susan's dad was not small, her brother was quite large and a grandmother also had a significant weight problem. So while it may not have been her first choice, she had already fallen in love with my heart, my personality and she knew that size had nothing to do with loving a child. Once they were satisfied that I was taking care of myself and healthy, they never brought up the subject again.

My best advice about God's guidance to help you address your weakest and hardest area in life; is to listen, pray and pray specifically about how to obtain your victory (options). I am sure you have attempted to do this many times and failed. At least that is the pattern for most of us. That was my pattern for 15 years and I had given up. Nothing worked for more than 30 lbs. and 150 lbs. seemed absolutely impossible.

My weight problem was more than a size or comfort problem. I was unhealthy and getting worse as I reached my mid-30's. My body had had enough and it really started breaking down. I have Type II Diabetes that nothing had been able to control, even up to 3 types of meds. at a time. We'd prayed for healing together for 6 years and I had been praying my entire adult life. I also have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, which I believe came first, set up the chemical and hormonal imbalance that put the Diabetes in progress and made my attempts at losing weight futile. I didn't know what it was or get a diagnosis until 4 years ago, which many doctors are not familiar with. In the last 4 years, a lot of research has been happening and good things are taking place. It is the #1 reason for infertility in larger women.

Through all our prayers and my attempts at banging my head against the wall to lose weight, I kept coming back to weight loss surgery. That is why I suggest praying about options. It's a very personal choice and you need God's leading and direction. I feel that God worked through the surgery to bring great healing into my life. It was drastic, but so was my situation.

I had a gastric bypass after a lot of prayer and research. There are many different types of weight loss surgeries. My surgery was over a year ago and I've lost 110 lbs. My health has greatly improved. My diabetes did not correct itself like most people's totally reverses, but for the first time, I'm in control with normal readings on one very low dose of medication. I've been sleeping better because I now respond to the pain medication for my nightly foot pain. My energy has increased, my mobility is greatly improved, and my self-esteem has been deeply affected. God has answered so many prayers for me, for my family, for our future.

With God all things are possible...in His timing.

God bless you,

Maura

For more information please read Baby and Love. We encourage you to prayerfully consider registering with our service, and/or writing to us.

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