SQUEEZING LEMONS
Time is money, money is time. You made your bed, now sleep in it. Wish upon a star. Don't step on a crack, it will break your mother's back. Hold your breath when you blow out the candles--if you want your wishes to come true. Believing the promises of God is like an air hammer--the harder you push the faster the results.
There is a common denominator in all of these adages/statements: error!
Whatever crisis or life changing decisions you are faced with--if you squeeze what appears to be lemons--you will get lemonade. It's pretty simple. If you kick and shove, the door will open; if you push the envelope, it will go into the slot; if you squeeze and squeeze, lemonade is what you'll be drinking.
How long is a couple supposed to stay connected or wait for/with a birthmother contact or lead--that is not a match?
It is a general question without a definitive answer. Each situation is different and God will have to hold your hand and guide you through the steps. However, as a general rule the birthmother calls most of the shots. A couple has to wait for her response concerning the placement decision. Sending additional letters of inquiry may help, but will not guarantee an expected response. Talking over the phone may alleviate her concerns and fears, but not insure placement.
Have you ever sold a car or a house? Dozens of people may call or come by and show an interest. Often you will hear, "Thanks for your time, I will think about it." Most of those people you will never hear from again. It isn't that the people that contacted you are thoughtless and uncaring , they just do not feel a responsibility to respond.
Birthmothers are people too. Only they are typically making a decision that is THE most difficult decision they will ever face--to whom to give their baby--to love and to nurture. No doubt they are usually in a difficult situation/circumstance and an adoptive couple offers their baby a life changing alternative. But, they have to make that decision. A couple can prod a birthmother and they can dog her, but it is not their job to figure it out. No matter how perfect a couple may think they are for that child, the birthmother is responsible for the final decision.
We are advocates for an aggressive approach with birthmoms. Asking a lot of questions in the beginning helps you to assess the situation objectively. If the lead/contact is going to fall apart, we have found it is less painful to happen in the beginning rather than after you have invested a lot of emotion, money, thought time, and heart. If your "match" with a birthmom is your "champagne" baby, let God work in the situation. Cover the birthmother/child with a blanket of prayer. However, if this is not your "match" and you decide to squeeze it, you may get lemonade. Lemonade is not bad--it can satisfy, and it sure is a thirst quencher in the midst of a desert.
But, God offers you "CHAMPAGNE" !
If you choose to rely on God and let Him guide your steps, you will enjoy the unimaginable benefits of an Ephesians 3:20 "match" and your "champagne" child that only God can provide.
For more information please read Donna and Files. We encourage you to prayerfully consider registering with our service, and/or writing to us.
adoption@christianadoption.com
A non-profit Christian and Internet
service ministry. We're helping others in the adoption
process.
1.800.277.7006 620.251.4405
Deborah S. Hill P.O. Box 243 Coffeyville, KS 67337
www.christianadoption.com adoption@christianadoption.com
