CARLY
Written by Carly.
Names have been changed to protect privacy.
3.04
I've been thinking about how easily it is to be fake.
How are you?
Oh, fine. (I'm faking it; can you see through me? I'm really sad, so please don't walk away. I'm really not okay.)
How are the kids?
Oh great! (Actually, my kids are very rebellious, but I'm don't want to tell you because you may judge my parenting skills.)
How's your hubby? I hear he's been sick.
Oh, he's doing better. (He's not doing well, in fact, he's miserable, but to tell you wouldn't solve our problem, so why and/or do you really want to know?)
We're so excited for you!
Oh, thanks, this is a great time for us! (Hmmm…I'm growing bigger each day. I'm questioning my readiness to parent. I hesitate to share my joy with childless and/or waiting couples. I feel very alone.)
OR
Is this girl still going to let you adopt her baby?
Yes, we're so thankful to be "matched!" We're just waiting for the call. (Actually I'm pretty worried, but if I share my concerns, you won't know what to say.)
We're praying for you and we're sure it'll work out.
Oh, thank you. (But if it doesn't, will you stand by me and encourage me? Are you sincere or just patronizing me?)
Pasted on smiles are just masks of what's going on inside of us. Few want to openly share their hearts and reveal their deep burdens.
We tend to think we're dumping our baggage on others. I think we fake it because we're afraid of being judged as incompetent, complaining, worried, unloving, lonely, lacking faith, etc.
Why do we fake it? Why don't we get our real feelings out, especially on this journey? Burying our thoughts is hazardous to our mental and emotional health.
There's so many couples seriously hurting because they long to become parents.
There's adoptive couples who cry daily, but don't tell anyone.
They hurt alone, because they're afraid to bring someone else down. They don't want to dump on anyone. They think no one really wants to know how bad they feel inside.
But we are called by God to walk in the steps of Jesus Christ. To become like Jesus to a lost and hurting world.
GET REAL!
I suggest we each start some new, honest, and real conversations with other Christian Adoption couples.
Let's talk about our fears, share our thoughts, discuss our disappointments, and help each other.
Sitting in God's Waiting Room isn't always fun or joyous.
We're called to be a light to the world and to each other.
God knows what we need and sometimes being real with another Christian Adoption couple, can be the healing balm on a heavy heart.
When we come to the aid of someone hurting, it begins a ministering cycle.
We're called to be disciples and to bring others to Christ, but also to edify one another.
We're not called to sit quietly, while another Christian Adoption brother or sister is struggling.
I admit I've been a fake.
I've faked it at church, at work, with friends and even at home.
I've faked it with my family too. Oh boy, have I faked it with family!
When we think about a newborn baby--no matter what the hour or the location--they'll cry their eyes out to communicate their message--I need something. They don't care what anyone thinks--they communicate!
Are we like little children before our heavenly Father?
Or do we get to a certain age and think it's not "grown up" to reach out? Why do we care what people think?
Do we allow others to minister to us?
I've decided to do something important.
I will no longer be a fake.
Before I became a mother, I cried a lot.
I hurt, because I wanted something so badly.
I threw tantrums, obsessed for birthmother leads, and became angry when other waiting couples "matched".
But at some point, I realized I needed to be real and reach out.
Do you have a friend within Christian Adoption?
We have the opportunity to have so much more than the blessing of a child in Christian Adoption!
We can build life long friendships and connections and share our lives.
We can laugh and cry and bear one another's burdens.
We each receive a harvest of blessings from Christian Adoption, based upon the seeds we sow into Christian Adoption.
My name is Carly--and I'd like to become your friend through Christian Adoption.
Carly
(Charles & Carly are the real parents of son Caleb and share their hearts with Christian Adoption.)
For more information please read Melanie-2.
We encourage you to follow God's loving guidance.
A
Christian ministry helping birth parents &
Christian couples for over 13 years!
1.800.277.7006 1.620.251.4405 adoption@telepath.com
Deborah S. (Hill) Niles P.O. Box 243 Coffeyville,
KS 67337
We are not an adoption agency, we are not registered, we are not licensed, and we are not professional counselors.
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