"WE'RE MATCHED !"
From the moment a birth parent reads a Dear Birthmother letter (profile letter) written by an adoptive couple, the birth parent already knows more about that couple than many couples learn about their birthmother during their entire adoption process. Adoptive couples share some of their experiences, their innermost desires to become parents, some of their disappointments, and a lot about their family as well as home life. As a birthparent, you already know MUCH more about them, than the adoptive couple knows about you! You have seen a least one photo of the couple and additional photos tell a story about their lives, their interests, and their lifestyles. As a birthparent you may have read a couple's perspective about the adoption process, some of their goals and hopes for a child, and learned about some of their trials and victories in life. Their home state is defined for you, their type of home setting (city/country) is listed, whether they have pets or other children, as well as their adoption considerations. From the 'get-go' you know more about them, than they know about you!
On the flip side of this adoption relationship, for the average adoptive couple--birthparents are like a dream--they don't really exist until something tangible has been received from the birthmother. Typically couples do not have a photograph of their birthmother contact. Usually adoptive couples do not know about your interests, your goals, your desires, and your medical background until you have established a dialogue. Often adoptive couples do not have a phone number to call back a birthmother contact, nor a state location, a due date, proof of pregnancy or a confidence that she has selected them for placement. This means that the birthparent upon initial contact has all the advantages and that the adoptive couple is at a total disadvantage. Often birthmothers contact an adoptive couple, begin a dialogue with them and then fall off the face of the earth!
In our effort to protect these couples from those with less than honorable intent, we suggest that at least 3 criteria out of a list of 10 are met between the adoptive couple and the birthmother, before we list a couple as "We're matched !" From your perspective, you may feel that these criteria are biased against you or suggest that you are not a person of honor. Quite the contrary! As a birthparent reading about an adoptive couple, you KNOW that our Christian Adoption couples are REAL people. You can be sure that we are representing CHRISTIAN couples. You have several methods of contact with each couple via E-mail, toll free numbers, collect call numbers, our toll free number at Christian Adoption, and our E-mail address.
The following list of criteria that an adoptive couple needs to receive, have knowledge of, and helps their confidence regarding an upcoming placement is simply an outline. Birthparents should be aware that these criteria may all need to be fulfilled prior to placement. We share this list with you, the birth parents, because we want you to know some of the criteria our Christian Adoption couples need before they are considered "matched" with our service.
About "We're matched !"
What we consider to be a "match" is when any 3 of the following criteria have been met:
1. When a birthmother has selected you as the adoptive couple for her child.
2. When you have received pertinent signed legal papers prior to the birth/placement, if available according to the adoption laws in a particular placement.
3. When you have a continuing dialogue with the birthmother/agency/attorney representing her.
4. When you have met with the birthmother and the 'meet' has been successful/positive.
5. When you have received medical records, physician's permission to access records or pregnancy documentation.
6. When you are at peace in your minds and hearts about the "match".
7. When you have received a sonogram to verify the development of an unborn child.
8. When you have met any of the birthmother's family or the birthfather.
9. When you are confident that God has opened doors between you and the birth parents.
10. When you have made detailed plans with the birthmother for delivery.
For more information please read Been/Done and Read. We encourage you to prayerfully consider registering with our service, and/or writing to us.
adoption@christianadoption.com
A non-profit Christian and Internet
service ministry. We're helping others in the adoption
process.
1.800.277.7006 620.251.4405
Deborah S. Hill P.O. Box 243 Coffeyville, KS 67337
www.christianadoption.com adoption@christianadoption.com
