FOR BIRTHMOTHERS EVERY WHERE

Written by Tabitha whose name has been changed to protect her privacy.

(Another successful adoption associated with Christian Adoption.)

What must it be like for you?

I see you sitting there crying

Not wanting pity --

Just love and understanding.

It's hard for me

What I wouldn't give to be pregnant

With new life growing inside me once more

But with the assurance that there will be

Life born this time around.

But perspective is everything.

I sit in my comfortable house

Thirty something

With my loving husband

And secure future

I have lived many of my dreams already.

You have plans

And this wasn't one of them

You had dreams

And now you have nothing but fear and anguish.

A tear slips down my cheek

At the bitter irony

And if I could take this cup from you

I gladly would.

You decided against the abortion

Or perhaps it didn't even occur to you

And you became the woman

That sex could not make you into.

You chose life

And became the mother

That many who conceive

And some who give birth

Will never be.

For motherhood, as life

Is judged not by how we handle the easy

But how we endure the difficult

It is about the sacrifices made

And not the transitory gains, which inevitably fade.

I heard someone say something petty and cruel

And I immediately wanted to stand in front of you

To stare down the accusing glares

And shout of your unfailing courage

Which, though sometimes frail

Defines you as something they can only dream of being.

The bitter irony always chokes in my throat --

Eliminate an innocent life

In the secret, dark recesses of an unfeeling clinic

And those same people

Who frown as you pass by

Could smile and wave instead.

And yet the ways of this world have become

Fogged and clouded

Right is wrong and wrong is now right

We vote on which of God's laws

Are really important.

Obviously they didn't fool you.

And so hold your head high

Face each day with courage

In years to come, you can proudly say,

"I saved a life in my youth.

You cannot see the scars

Because they have long since healed over."

"My heart, like that of each

Of the thousand heroes before me.

Still aches from time to time.

My head still wonders over a

million "what if's?""

What do you know?

What can you store away in your heart?

You gave your most precious gift,

Your own heart,

And placed it where it was desperately wanted.

You placed your child's needs above yourself.

You realized in your youthful wisdom

That although you could love your child

With every ounce of your being

That you could not provide

The life you wanted your child to have.

There is no sin in not being ready for motherhood

And there is no dishonor in carrying to term

The innocent life created in your womb.

Each day my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Can you feel my admiration?

Imagine it engulfing you like a soft flannel blanket

Know that I cannot imagine your sacrifice

But that it is filling the hole in my heart

That has at times threatened to consume me.

You are creating a family.

I have accomplished much in my life

But I am unable to create a family

Without God and without you.

If it were not for you and His perfect Grace.

I would go through my life without

The blessing of children.

It is ironic that I have gone through

These years of pain

Only to be rescued

By the pain of someone as lovely as you.

My victory over childlessness is bittersweet

Tempered by my awareness of your sacrifice.

I know that in years to come you will

Look back and know that you have done the right thing

But I also know that I will feel the tears

You shed upon your pillow.

Their dampness will trace across my own cheek.

I will kiss that sweet baby

Brought forth by your courage

I will snuggle close

And count you as my precious sister.

My deliverer

The answer to my prayers

God's agent in my life

My precious birthmother.

For more information please read Diane and Mercy. We encourage you to prayerfully consider registering with our service, and/or writing to us.

adoption@christianadoption.com   

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